Send help....
Like seriously…..
I have sat down to write this so many times. I have tried to figure out what I can write about, I have really tried to figure this the hell out.
My mama always said if I don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. I don’t know if it's just me, but lately I have had a hard time
because my tolerance for people trying to disturb my peace, it just doesn’t exist anymore. Is it something in the cosmics? Is it just me? Like what the hell?
If you feel this way, you are not alone, when it rains it pours and if you live in STL then there is a chance it's probably flooding or there is a tornado too. I see you. I feel you. I am you.
I remember a time in my life where I spent so much time worrying about people's opinions of me, so much so that I tried to fit myself into this itty bitty square box. I wanted so desperately to be everything that everyone else wanted me to be, that everyone else thought I should be. You are too loud, okay I won’t talk. You are too big, okay I will lose weight. You are too trusting, okay well no new friends. In the journey of choosing myself and learning how to love myself, one of the hardest things I had to let go of was my desperate need for validation.
It was hard, honestly it felt damn near impossible, I spent so much of my life searching for validation, that I didn’t even know who I was. I mean seriously. How was it that I never spent any type of time figuring out who I was as a person. It was like a flashing neon sign, screaming at me to pay attention, I mean how the hell am I supposed to raise two children if I didn’t even know how to love myself… How am I supposed to raise these two girls, that will one day be young women, to be the best, most confident, and self love filled humans that they can be?
Every time I thought that I was getting closer to my peaceful girl era, something would happen. I spent a lot of 30 learning lessons. I learned that I am too kind and that there is a point where boundaries need to be drawn. I learned that in order to truly love yourself, the only person you need to validate is yourself. I learned that cannabis can sometimes take away from my interactions with my children, especially if I am going to every event trying to make a name for myself and grow my marketing agency. I learned that I had to find balance.
I am not someone who believes that things just happen. I don’t mean in life and death per say. What I mean is that the universe sends people into your lives for many reasons, the most common of those reasons is to be lessons. This last time I was burnt was horrible. I am so incredibly grateful for it though. It finally clicked. That need for external validation, it died and was replaced with a new level of self respect and inner peace that I have never experienced before. 30 taught me more than I ever thought one year could, but it also brought to me so many incredible blessings.
April 20th I turned 31 and chose to go the low key route. I stayed in town and didn’t hit any of the major events, I decided that the big huge birthday celebration just wasn't for me anymore. As we come up on almost 1 year alcohol free, I decided that all I craved in life was an old school PJ party with a bunch of stoners ladies. IT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY I HAVE EVER HAD. I am not kidding, for the first time in my entire life I was surrounded by people and friends who not only see me and love me for exactly who I am, but who are also a little outside the box too. We laughed, we smoked, we danced, at the end of the night I was just overwhelmed with gratitude. The craziest thing about all of it was how many people showed up and how many people messaged me that if it weren’t for other plans they would be there.
How did I end up so lucky? How did all of those hard lessons turn into something so incredibly beautiful and awe inspiring? For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a single birthday wish. I have everything I already need right here.
Still knowing all these things, I just couldn’t find the words to say, I just couldn’t get rid of this mental block that was keeping my words from flowing freely.
In 2022 Digital Smoke a Cannabis Marketing Agency was launched, it is my life. I ended up detouring a bit from blogging and typing because I was drowning in work, but not in a bad way, in the type of driven way that only comes with a deep desire for success and passion for what you are doing. When I began blogging as The STL Stoner Mom, again I found myself searching for validation, I mean that is the point of social media… The need for validation online disappeared when I realized I was truly making a difference in people's lives, from supporting companies that didn’t support me back in return, to making women and parents all over feel seen, normal, and heard. That is when it all hit. Marketing.
What is the most powerful way to change the narrative that surrounds the Cannabis Industry? What is the most powerful way to destigmatize plant medicine?
IT IS MARKETING.
We all spend so much time on social media and often we are influenced by what we see. It is the entire reason people are making millions doing affiliate marketing, because marketing has changed. Due to being in its infancy, the cannabis industry has a long way to go before they will find their groove in marketing, so the owner of the marketing companies sister company and I sat down and built out a one of a kind marketing agency that was focused on the cannabis industry and alternative industries that have often been overlooked.
As we have talked about before, the people in the cannabis industry are not making nearly as much money as people are assuming they are. Traditional marketing agencies are outdated, billing by the hour, that's just robbery… I mean seriously, how do you even keep the marketing company accountable for the amount of hours they are charging you? Our subscription based marketing program not only allows you to pay a mobilization fee that matches that of your low monthly payment, our website design and hosting services include ongoing SEO and updates that you will NEVER receive a surprise bill for.
If you are interested in learning more please visit Digital-Smoke.com
The point of all of this though was that true peace comes with great loss. The loss and turmoil can be at times suffocating as you are trancending into your next phase of maturity, but the end results are so much better than you can expect.
Today I challenge you:
Choose yourself
Be the bigger person
Meditate often
Medicate often
Prioritize self love and self care
Breath it in and let the bs go
We are all out here doing our best and the world is not an easy place for humans. Treat yourself with grace today and remember that you can choose yourself as early as today. Surround yourself with people who are good for your soul and trust your instincts in all aspects of life. Let go of grudges and don’t hold hatred or anger in your heart for anyone. Lead with kindness and optimism and let the rest just happen.
Sending EVERYONE love and light, peace and happiness, self love and inner peace.
Have a great day you guys and I am so excited to work together.
ALSO MOMS… DADS….
YOU GOT THIS.
Smoking weed doesn’t make you a bad parent…. Being a bad parent makes you a bad parent.
LOVE,
C
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